Developing that little idiosyncrasies August 12, 2008
Posted by sithbear in Relationship, State of Mind.add a comment
How we relate to people in our own memories are not what everything that everyone outside the relationship can see. Our relationship with each every individual is define by how we spend time with the other person. Everyone has only 24 hours afterall. It would be good that we have someone to spend our lives with.
Recently, I heard someone saying that it is fortunate if we can see our best friends on even a weekly basis. With technology, like instant messenger, we are now able to be close to our friends even though we may not be there physically. But it is even better that we can be physically there to spend time with them.
During my last visit with Howard, he said something that strike me as very profound and true. He said that we would need to be ‘there’ when some events are happening. If we are not there, then we are not experiencing the same moment. It is those moments that define the relationship even more. We just need to be ‘there’.
I borrow this following dialogue found in ‘Good will hunting’ about what we remember in a relationship -
My wife’s been dead two years, Will.
And when I think about her, those
are the things I think about most.
Little idiosyncrasies that only I
knew about. Those made her my wife.
And she had the goods on me too.
Little things I do out of habit.
People call these things imperfections
Will. It’s just who we are. And we
get to choose who we’re going to let
into out weird little worlds. You’re
not perfect. And let me save you the
suspense, this girl you met isn’t
either. The question is, whether or
not you’re perfect for each other.
You can know everything in the world,
but the only way you’re findin’ that
one out is by giving it a shot. You
sure won’t get the answer from an
old fucker like me. And even if I
did know, I wouldn’t tell you.
Here’s another part from the same movie about regret and wishing things to be different:
No, that’s okay. It’s an important
question. ‘Cause you’ll have your
bad times, which wake you up to the
good stuff you weren’t paying
attention to. And you can fail, as
long as you’re trying hard. But
there’s nothing worse than regret.
KT January 26, 2007
Posted by sithbear in State of Mind, Uncategorized.add a comment
Met KT for breakfast this morning. She is still the same. I think she is one of those people who doesnt age. We havent caught up with each other for a while and its good to know that she is doing ok.
It is Friday. The sky is having its period again. Gloomy days like these brings back a lot of memories of Candy days. Memories of Allen, Brian, Corinna, Adriano, Shirlyn, Daniel, Marcus, Zack and many many more. Yesterday weather really brings me back to those times. I walked out on the street with the rain light enough for a slight breeze to carry it in the air for a while. The drizzling that will not fall directly to the ground. The type of rain that you can walk in like through a mist. Not drenching and very cooling.
In the mood of shade. I didnt feel like doing anything. So I sat quietly in the room. Listening to the noise from the street. Looking at the cranes working its way at the distant port. And I wonder…What do I wonder…Why do I wonder… It was a calm and serene type of night. Quiet. Peaceful. Slice of Bitter. Hint of sweetness. Thats life, isn’t it? We caused our own problems. If we can level our emotions, then that will be good. The problem can be solved with or without us being emotionally affected.
So I got up, blew out my thinking candle (I wun call it my meditation candle coz some people feel that meditation is an invitation of evil) and went to find dinner.
Ai.takeAway (Mr M Wong) - I have passed this shop a number of times and were wondering what do they sell. Yesterday, I finally walked in to ask. Its a small shop with display like they are selling only dessert. Well, Michael has been educated in Japan in his younger days and worked as a product engineer. Now, he runs a shop as a retirement plan. Very homely cooking. His menu changes everyday. He said that gives him flexibility when he doesnt have to stick to a fixed menu. Of coz, it will lower his cost as well. I started to like this place almost instantly. Its the same feeling like having a part time maid to clean my place. I do not know where the things are. I do not get upset anymore when I cannot find my things (like socks, underwear, pots, etc), someone is cleaning up for me, what else can I say. Without a fixed menu, I have no idea what to expect for dinner. Just like going home for dinner and you do not know what is being served. A lot of people will complain when a dinner does not have their favorite dishes. But these days, I am pretty ok with anything that is served. There is dinner waiting for you…what else do you want? Trust me when I said that you are not ready to be staying alone.
Back to dinner, I started by ordering Curry Rice to go. And after talking for a few minutes, I ended up with a Bakuteh soup. He really took his time preparing the food. I didnt mind it at all. Right before he finished, I told him about the shellfish I saw the other day and he said that he got some today if I would like to try. He hasnt really priced it yet, but it will be $3. I am a sucker for statement like that. So I ended up with another dish. Full course dinner cost me slightly more than $10. Cool deal, especially after several days of instant noodles. To think that I came out to buy instant noodles. Guess its MrWong’s place for dinner again tonight.
Simple delight..
I September 22, 2006
Posted by sithbear in State of Mind, Uncategorized.add a comment
Its a lonely world out there. My previous post about friends was not published properly and I was too lazy to retype everything again. Well, I will put in a short version later.
Recipocating. Not even sure of the spelling. I am sour. I admit it. I was asked to share the birthday gift of some guys. My first reaction was ’sure, count me in’. Then after it settled it, my thoughts were ‘WTF, he didnt even get me anything for MY birthday.’ Well, guess I am still missing that rest of the birthday cake, of which I only received a slice from Shangri La, Pudong, Shanghai. My belief is still that I must do what is right and not be concerned if others return the same.
Disappointment. I hate surprise parties. Why do we have to shock people about how much we care?
The haunt is still on in the dark realms of my mind. Damn…
Its time to move on. End of an era… The hooded lone rider moving away from the crowd, stirring as little dust as possible to avoid attention. There will be a time for our revenge.
Young August 13, 2006
Posted by sithbear in L matters, State of Mind, Uncategorized.add a comment
I am young. Or am I?
Another question that I do not know how to answer. Many questions arised today that I have no answers to.
5 years. It didnt change anything that I do not already know. I need to know more. I am changing. That much is certain. Am I growing?
Its late. 3.30am to be exact. I do not want to sleep. Life is short..life is short.
Its not over. I am still here. Still here..not waiting, but still here. Where are you now?
Age May 24, 2006
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I am feeling old today. I suddenly realized that I am 32 year old. Then I look at my achievements in life. I shaked my head.
Today, I am not angry but bored.
I read on KB1 blog that she is turning indifference. I have been there. I want to help her get over that. No one deserves to be cold and hard. I think she thinks too much with her heart and feel too much with her mind. I wrote her an email tonight. Hopefully, she will be motivated to get out of GILLS. Thats reserve for a sith only. Thats reserved for someone as undeserving as me.
On other news, my palette died on me. I seem to find something lacking in the cigars I am smoking. I can sense the taste, but something is missing.
I got to know 4 girls today. Hopefully, something interesting will come out from 1 of them.
Another day May 23, 2006
Posted by sithbear in L matters, State of Mind.add a comment
Woke up from the wrong side of the bed. I was ready to jump on anyone today if they give me a reason to. But heck, even the bus driver was polite today.
Spent the day without knowing much of what I am doing. Got some things done without too much thinking.
Met up with B2's colleagues. KB2 turned out to be interesting. Her Canadian background is interesting enough for me. I always have a soft spot for anything, or anyone for the matter, of Canadian origin. I like that country.
KB1 is giving me a headache. Honesty is a refreshing change for her, I suppose. But I really need to protect myself from this game. I cannot let anyone be affecting me if I am not able to affect her. But its ok. At least things are in the open and I like that of me.
Concentration May 17, 2006
Posted by sithbear in State of Mind.3 comments
I wanted to start afresh. Too many old scars in the last blog. So here I am.
Once again I have too much expectation on how a friend should be. I really should not have been upset. It is really not my place.
I was upset. But it is not my place.
Anyways, I realized one thing this evening. I have no passion. None whatsoever. I have been doom by our local education to mediocrecy.
Time to look for my passion. What is it?
